Miscarriage doesn’t go well with fathers and neither with mothers. It sure is a great deal and the sadness knows no bounds. Well, however sad that might be, you have to take your own time and acknowledge the loss that you are going through. This is also a great deal for your other half and you both have to be an equal part of it.
Well, there has always been a myth and we are here to talk and address in it a manner that it helps to understand the concept of miscarriage in a better way. Mother and miscarriage are as obvious as is father and miscarriage and here is all the discussion related to the same that will make the concept better.
Miscarriage effect on father
In the ideal situation, the loss comes for both the parents i.e. the father and the mother. The most common effects of miscarriage are as follows. There are basically five stages of pain that both of you will have to go through and that includes denial, anger, acceptance, depression, and bargain
Think before you speak: If you are a mother, there is no denying the fact that how stressful can a miscarriage turn out to be. However, fathers and miscarriage are a whole different story altogether. Generally, fathers don’t console their partners by saying that “you can have more kids” and so on. For every mother out there, their baby was very special and to go through the grief of losing them is something that will take time to digest.
Even if they have lots of kids in the future time, this is not going to fix anything and neither will the loss leave the space. Talking about other pregnancies might be a father’s way to deal out of the whole situation but what they are really looking for is an ear to listen that supports them, reassures them, and loves them. Such kind of sympathy is what needs to be given right now.
Emotional Effects: In either case, the emotional level and its issues are most significant. Both parents, who were expecting a child have to go through the same feeling of loss. Nonetheless, losing a child can come off as a very big blow. You are sure to have your own doubts and fears regarding your next pregnancy and whether or not to become pregnant again. You are likely to have a lot of fear regarding the risk and the drain emotionally that you have to go through post miscarriage. The feeling of something empty inside is common for both. They both go through emotional and physical experiences. Along with that there also is a feeling of guilt and failure that comes along. Both of you will sense equal feelings of depression and discouragement all the way long.
Relationship Effects: During this phase, what you most need is equal emotional support from each other. This is where the stress part starts. You will blow each other off and end up blaming one another for the problem that happened. Well, deep inside you will know that it’s no one’s fault. Fathers and miscarriage don’t really get along. So, make sure to give it time and not to fall into guilt and blame each other for the cause. Sometimes the irritation and tensions can escalate to a level that you couldn’t have ever imagined. Sadly, thoughts like breaking up also might strike you but don’t haste up for taking the wrong decision.
How to deal with a miscarriage alone?
The advice would be not deal with miscarriage alone ever. It is okay if you need an hour nap or wants to go out for a walk, but having your partner by your side the whole time is what matters the most for you. The total amount of time you gave to the pregnancy is totally not relevant to the time you are about to spend grieving about it.
You don’t have to be too sad, cry it out, and do whatever you have to so that thing comes up to an equal level and back to where it was. The grief will change you a lot and sometimes for the good. Take your own time to find out about your feelings and the way you have to cope out of it.
How to support a husband after a miscarriage?
Fathers and miscarriage are a very big impact on their life too. He might have even thought of going out with the little girl or to go out on fishing with his little boy. Well, he will have to turn up the idea of watching it all happen. Most of the time, the dreams that a father has regarding his babies is the same and equally important as a mother has.
A miscarriage is not a very easy fix and males, being known for their attitude of fixing it all is not going to help them a lot. There is nothing that can fix this except time and your support. As partners, you both have to be there for each other and deal with it together. Some of the tips that you can take on how to support husband after a miscarriage are:
- Men don’t usually prefer talking a lot or discuss their feeling with someone else. The same goes along even in the case of miscarriage. Grieving things out is not their way to turn up to the whole situation. So, you can advise them to write their feelings down on a piece of paper. This is going to turn out as a boon.
- The keen feeling of sadness will strike a father always. It might so happen that they don’t show but it is obvious. So, take your time and sit with him. Hold him and listen to everything that he is willing to talk about to you. Let him express himself, if not, ask him to. This will lessen the burden from his heart. Sometimes, just the fact that someone is there for them does the job pretty well. This will also help to speed up the whole process of experience in the coming time.
That was all about fathers and miscarriage and the way you have to deal with it. The best thing to do would be to stay for each other during the phase and even after it.
“Enjoy your path to mom, Relish every moment”
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