You’re standing in the snack aisle of the supermarket. Lying at your feet is your toddler, who has just been informed (by you) that, no, she cannot have the Cinderella fruit snacks. Her face has turned a shade somewhere between red and purple. Her fists are pounding the floor in anger as she emits a shriek that can be heard in the farthest reaches of the parking lot. The other shoppers are staring at this spectacle as you wish frantically for a hole to open in the floor and swallow you up. And in this situation, you must have an answer to this question: “How To Be A Tantrum Tamer For Your Kid?”.
How to be a tantrum tamer for your kid?
Many a parent has been through a scenario like this, although the tantrum might have taken a slightly different form; crying, hitting, kicking, stomping, throwing things, and breath holding are all popular tantrum techniques.
Although they are a normal part of the toddler range, temper tantrums can be distressing to parents. When they occur rarely, tantrums aren’t a big deal and are best overlooked. It’s when they become regular or strong that parents need to look into what’s instigating them and they need to find ways to stop them.
Tantrum Triggers – Tantrum Tamer
Some children are more prone to tantrums, particularly kids who are:
- Kids who don’t adapt well to new environments.
For most toddlers, tantrums are simply a way of getting out their frustration and testing limits.
Keep tantrums under control – Tantrum Tamer
Here are a few pointers that can help you discipline your child and keep the tantrums under control and how to be a tantrum tamer:
You probably know this by now
- Toddlers often throw fits when you’ve told them they’re not allowed to do or have something, or when you want them to do something they don’t want to (like leave the playground!).
- One solution is to create ground rules up front. Tell your child, that if you say it’s time to leave the playground, they must leave the playground. Make it known that opposition isn’t going to change that. Then, when it’s time to go, don’t let them persuade you to stay — even if it’s only five minutes more.
“You shouldn’t say it’s not okay to throw food one day and then let the child do it the next, for example”. Over time, your toddler will start to acquire what behavior is expected of them, and they’ll likely learn to cooperate better.
Keep Your child Cool
When your child starts freaking out, it’s really easy to have your own little eruption — but know that if you yell, cry or get mad, it could just make the episode worse.
- So remind yourself that this is what toddlers do sometimes, and try not to take it personally. Even if you feel like screaming, don’t let him know it.
- Take a deep breath and start acting”. “You don’t want two people upset and hysterical.
- If you model calm behavior, maybe your toddler will take a hint and learn to be calmer when he’s angry, too.
Ignore the Outburst
Sometimes toddlers just want attention. It doesn’t matter to them if it’s positive or negative attention, and a tantrum is the best way to get it.
- So maybe instead of punishing or screaming at your child, let him work it out himself. We’re not saying ignore him — just comfort him and wait until he calms down.
- And most important, don’t give in. Toddlers are at a tough age — they don’t have the mental capacity to problem-solve and reason.
- Consistently show them that a tantrum isn’t an effective way to get what they want. Over time, the fits will likely occur less often.
Distract, Distract, Distract
Teach your child the skills she needs to ask you nicely for the things she wants.
- Your kid should know that if she wants a cookie while you’re in the grocery aisle, instead of creating a scene, she should ask you without whining.
- That means plenty of prep work. Explain all this stuff at a time when the baby is calm, in simple terms baby can understand. Then when you’re in the thick of it, remind baby of how the baby’s supposed to ask for things.
- At the moment a toddler’s starts screaming, even if you talk rationally, baby’s not going to hear it.
- Explain — out of the moment — that mommy wants the baby to smile when the baby asks for something and that you won’t do what the baby wants if the baby’s screaming and crying for it. Then when the time comes, remind baby.
Know Your Child’s Limits
Create some rules and strictly follow them
Managing it single-handedly
- When children throw tantrums, they anticipate reactions. They can be unreasonable and the attention they get from other family members is needless.
- The more the handlers in the family, the more the discrepancy in handling the situation.
Find the root cause
Parents must ensure that the child is fit, eats well, is physically active and gets sound sleep. A significant number of tantrums are because of the hunger which a young child is yet to recognize.
- Check whether the child is hungry or thirsty first. Offering a lump of jaggery helps raise the blood sugar level quickly and a tantrum can be avoided.
- In the case of older kids, tantrums are mostly conscious and planned attempts to reach a goal.
- Children can’t distinguish between good and bad attention. As long as they get attention, tantrums continue.
- Sometimes kids learn from watching parents throwing tantrums to get things done. It acts as a negative model and must be avoided.
Maintain your serene
It’s easy to get worked up but it would only aggravate the situation. Be patient, give a hug and divert attention. Pay more attention to your child during his well-behaved times. Get them to do lots of physical activity to channel some of their aggression.
Look for warning signs
Signs to watch out for can vary from:
- breath holding spasms
Generally, kids overcome tantrums by the age of 4-5. But if they increase in frequency, duration and intensity professional help must be sought.
Never give in
- Giving in to a child’s tantrums will only reinforce and strengthen negative behaviour. Think from a child’s perspective. Why would he attempt to change his behaviour when tantrums are getting him what he wants? The anger pays off.
- If parents think they always end up giving into their child’s demands, they need to work on themselves. If you often feel angry and lose control when dealing with their tantrums, eventually it will affect your relationship with your little one.
For tiny tots
Avoid instructions like ‘put that thing down’ or ‘get up’.
- When we are angry, our mind stops working and emotions take over. Think of alternative methods to deal with situations like this.
- When it’s over, and the child is calm, talk to him. That is when learning takes place
- Teach them how to express negative emotions instead of acting on it. For example, instead of throwing a fit, teach your child to say that he or she is angry.
- Set certain dos and don’ts in your family which will be consistent in all situations at all times and in front of everybody.
This will give a clear signal and tantrums will eventually reduce.
Accept the Tears
- When your child is having a tantrum, you want to be there for them, but it’s important to not always try to calm them down and shush them.
- It’s okay to let our toddlers mourn the loss of a toy or be sad when they have to leave Grandma’s house.
- If we always shush them when they are upset, we send the message that it is not okay to be angry and show it.
Life is disappointing at times, and it’s okay to let your feelings show it.
Tantrum Prevention Tactics – Tantrum Tamer
Instead of having to stop a temper tantrum after it starts, prevent it by following these tips:
- Avoid situations in which tantrums are likely to erupt. Try to keep your daily routines as consistent as possible and give your child a five-minute warning before changing activities.
- Communicate with your toddler. Don’t underestimate his ability to understand what you are saying. Tell him the plan for the day and stick to your routine to minimize surprises.
- Allow your child to take a toy or food item with her while you run errands. It may help her stay occupied.
- Make sure your child is well rested and fed before you go out so he doesn’t blow up at the slightest provocation.
- Put away off-limit temptations (for example, don’t leave candy bars lying on the kitchen counter close to dinnertime) so they don’t lead to battles.
- Give your toddler a little bit of control. Let your child choose which book to bring in the car or whether she wants a grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly for lunch. These little choices won’t make much of a difference to you, but they’ll make your child feel as though she has at least some control over her own life.
- Pick your battles. Sometimes you can give in a little, especially when it comes to small things. Would you rather let your child watch 15 extra minutes of television or listen to her scream for 30 minutes?
- Teach your child other ways of dealing with frustration. Remind children who are old enough to talk to use their words instead of screaming.
Hope you find this article helpful. Sometimes it’s difficult to handle kids, but they also bring joy to our lives so we need to keep calm during the situation. You should prepare yourself for every moment.
“Enjoy your Path to Mom. Relish every moment!”
Disclaimer: All content on this website, including medical opinion and other health-related information, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.