Many people who want to have their own baby but due to some complications aren’t able to conceive. Hence one of the options for them to have a child is adoption. Adoption of a child and raising a toddler as their own child makes their life complete. The adopted parents are called adoptive parents or foster parents. The following article is related to raising an adopted toddler as well as adopted children, adopted parents v/s biological parents, parenting your adopted child, adoption tips for parents, bad adoptive parents and adopted child problems.
Raising an adopted toddler
The most important issue in raising an adopted toddler is that the attachment of the adopted children and the parents in the beginning years. The adopted parents are called adoptive parents or foster parents. For adopted toddlers, the attachment or the relationship isn’t much different than a biological child would be. Most of the toddlers usually develop an attachment to their adoptive parents just as they would have to their birth parents. The adopted parents are called adoptive parents or foster parents.
Adopted parents v/s biological parents
The biggest and the obvious difference between adopted and biological children is that adopted children are not genetically related to their parents. The adopted parents are called adoptive parents or foster parents. In the majority of the cases, while raising an adopted toddler, this condition doesn’t change the behaviour of parents towards the adopted child but can alter the parenting experience. Following are some of the traits of adopted parent’s v/s biological parents:
The child may not share your appearances
The appearance of the adopted children may influence the child’s needs. For example, the adopted child may get spectacles at an early age while the adoptive parents have healthy eyes. One must pay attention to all the unique needs of the child and should learn to give an appropriate response so that there isn’t raised any kind of adoption questions.
The child may have different personality traits
Genes have a great impact on the appearance as well as the overall behavior of the child. Genes impacts physical appearance and the child may not share the same family interest as the adoptive family, talents or personality traits. It is important for the family to develop the interest of the adopted child into various fields, expose them to certain opportunities and encourage them to pursue their interest.
The child may have different medical needs
This is one of the major adopted parents v/s biological parents difference. The adopted children usually inherit genetic conditions from the biological family and hence it differs from that of the adoptive family. It is important for the adoptive parents to gather the utmost information of the child so that one will be prepared to meet any medical needs the child may have. As the parents haven’t experienced the child’s pregnancy, the child may not have experienced the same prenatal care.
Parenting your adopted child
Here are some key strategies to help you parent your adopted child and move through the adoption process until everyone can finally settle in together.
Showing love and care
Parenting your adopted child isn’t an easy task. Adoption can take a while, sometimes longer than expected. One needs to build a relationship with the child by doing small things for the child, like waiting outside the child’s school or gaming zone, caring about them, etc.
Set up a support system
The adopted children may have a disturbed past though, in toddlers, it’s negligible. No matter where or how the child has entered your family, the child needs the parent’s support at every level. Your support system should also include other adoptive families. They can give you empathetic.
Keep your child close
A toddler who is adopted needs the warmth, love, same kind of close bonding time to feel safe and comfortable with you like the new parents which you may have given to your own child. So in the first weeks and months, try to keep your child as close to you as you can as much as possible.
Adoption tips for parents
The adoptive parents need to keep certain things in mind before initiating the adoption process. Following are the adoption tips for parents who are planning to adopt a child:
Learn all you can
One must read books and magazines, check online, meet other people and talk to other parents, join adoptive parent support groups to gain knowledge about parenting your adopted child.
Do some soul searching
One has to take several decisions before going ahead with the adoption process. These decisions are regarding the gender, age birth, etc of the child. One has to think about whether they need a single child or twins as well as if they want an open relationship with the parents of the children and many more.
Come up with a financing plan
One has to financially strong as well for the adoption of the child. One has to determine the cost of the adoption as well as other future expenses and also the cost which will incur to provide the child with a bright future.
Research the law
If you are adopting domestically, then the state laws are applicable. Hence one needs to research state laws.
Carefully consider any child you might adopt
Explore the child’s medical history and social and emotional background. Ask a paediatrician’s advice about what to expect.
One must look for certain agencies or any other adoption expert who may help in the adoption process. It is one of the most important adoption tips for parents as randomly adopting the child from anyone, may cost them a lot in the future.
Bad adoptive parents
If adoption is considered as a boon for some of the families, some parents consider it as a curse. This condition occurs not only due to the adopted child’s behaviour but also sometimes due to the adoptive parents. The wrong or negative behaviour of the parents while raising an adopted toddler, may force the child to consider them as bad adoptive parents. Following are some of the traits one must avoid for not becoming bad adoptive parents:
Tell everyone your kid’s backstory
The children don’t prefer to revisit the door which they have closed and moved on from. The circumstances which led to the child being adopted are the story of his life and aren’t needed to read out loud. This will certainly create a negative impact on the parents on the child and he may start to create distance from you.
Expect gratitude or appreciation because you adopted them
When the parents don’t expect any kind of gratitude or appreciation from their biological parents then why do they expect it from the adopted child. It was entirely their call to adopt a certain child. Having this kind of attitude while raising an adopted toddler may lead the child to hate you and give you a tag of bad adoptive parents.
Think of your child as your adopted child
This kind of thinking or feeling towards the child is somewhere or the other is going to hinder your relationship with your child. The child may have a certain issue which you may haven’t expected but treating a child and making him feel like an adopted one will label you as bad adoptive parents.
Think adoption has a return policy
Raising an adopted toddler is one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever have. Some people think of adoption as some kind of return policy which may give some benefit in the future. But when they feel that they aren’t getting anything in return, they try to get rid of the child through various ways which are known as rehoming.
Adopted child problems
There are a lot of complications that an adopted child may face. Raising an adopted toddler may create some problems for the child. Following are some of the adopted child problems:
Feeling of rejection
As the child comes to know that he is adopted, he may suffer from the negative feeling of rejection. This is one of the major adopted child problems. While raising an adopted toddler, the child may feel that the biological family didn’t like him or didn’t love him which pushed him into adoption. The feeling of being left out can affect the adopted kid’s progress and psychological health and development negatively.
This is one of the adopted child problems. Generally, the adoptive parents don’t have proper knowledge about the health or any genetic information of the child. Lack of genetic health history may affect from learning the cause of disorder in your adopted kid if she suffers from any and also may hinder the proper treatment which is necessary at the time of crisis.
Loss and grief
Raising an adopted toddler is a challenging task when he may have a feeling of loss and grief after learning that he is adopted. Feeling of loss and grief can arise due to the feeling of abandonment is one of the prominent causes of the behavioural problem in an adopted child. Disappointment due to loss of biological family has an adverse effect on the child. The kid may ask several questions about the biological parents. The child may also grieve the loss of their siblings, grandparents, friends, and other familiar environments.
The adopted child problems include the problem of self-identification when they learn about their adoption. Identity development can be more complicated in adopted kids. Your kid may also ask you about her biological family, their traditions, siblings, and heritage.
The sense of self-esteem of the adopted child depends on her sense of belonging, identity, and value and dignity. Several studies reveal that adopted kids suffer from low self-esteem. This is because they score lower on self-esteem compared to that of non-adopted children.
“Enjoy your Path to Mom. Relish every moment!”
Disclaimer: All content on this website, including medical opinion and other health-related information, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.